We're busy here at VideoHelper.
Aside from creating music, our minds are constantly working -- which is quite a relief, because the rest of our bodies are playing videogames and experimenting with drugs. In order to facilitate our obscenely huge entrepreneurial drive, we, are obsessed with starting new ideas/companies that will not only make our lives better, but also make us richer, have better cars and be able to eat at restaurants. However, not all of our "starter" companies flourish. Some examples:
• NATIONAL ASSOCIATION of MUSIC BROKERS and LICENSING AGENTS (November 2004): A go-between for providers and licensors of music rights. A great idea, but ultimately destined to fail due to a poorly-chosen acronym. Apparently, NAMBLA is already an organization. And once the lawsuit's over, the FBI wants to have a word with us, too.
• GOD, Inc (January 2005): The Bible appears on the bestseller's list every year, bringing millions in revenue for the publisher but as far as we know, nobody was collecting author's royalties. That is, until we tried to. A short-lived company plagued by swarms of locusts and random pile-of-salt-related deaths.
• CRAPPLE, Inc. (February 2005): Contrary to popular belief, you CAN polish a turd. But, consequently, they still don't sell. Even when you paint them white and sell them as the new "iPoo."
• "MOTIV-IN-OVATIONS" MOTIVATIONAL POSTERS (March 2005): Our worst selling poster was the image of a set of footprints in the sand, except our version ended with the line "And I asked, Lord, why in my hardest times, did you forsake me?" And the Lord replied "What? A guy can¹t take a dump once in while? You're smothering me!"
• SEE NO EVIL SECURITY (May 2005): Much like the TV show "Blind Justice," which features a blind policeman, we jumped on this hot trend and started a service proving blind security personnel. A highly cost-effective and efficient security force, provided most lawbreakers continued talking or at least answer when someone yells "Marco!" The company closed after a multi-officer pursuit ended tragically when a perpetrator crossed a busy street.
Until one of these ideas hits, we're forced to continue making CDs for you people. The newest release, Disc 29: "INFONEWSDRAMATAINMENT" has 61 new cuts designed to not only fill the need for light drama but also to return to our roots: music that works for news but doesn¹t sound like news music. Divided into four sections, the first group, INTENSE/DARK/DRAMATIC, includes "On The Move," the easiest cut to edit EVER -- because it only uses one note -- and the slow, building stabs of "Death Factor." The INFORMATIONAL/NEUTRAL section includes the impossibly frenetic but tightly wound gated synths of "Know It All" and the Techno-Organic, acoustic guitar-driven "Observant Eye." The GRAND/POSITIVE/ LIGHT section features everything from the orchestral Olympic-ish lushness of "Wonderous Events" to the aggressive, hit-filled pride of "Presidential Persuasion." The last section, HUMAN DRAMA, features cuts that range from the overcoming-the-odds feel of "In The Distance" to the gentle, vinegar-and-water-tinged tones of "Like A Summer's Eve."
"Infonewsdramatainment" is the 33rd disc in the VideoHelper library and was released May 24, 2005.
