Social Networking. It’s become 2010’s newest industry catchphrase, which is a relief, as 2009’s, “Let’s Sue VideoHelper” really was a big downer.
Here is a brief timeline of some of the high/lowlights from our brief Social Networking attempts:
June 3, 2009: We start both Twitter and Facebook accounts.
September 23, 2009: Research shows that an astounding 75% of our Twitter followers are German. The other one is American.
December 5, 2009: All work at VH ceases for a week while we reassess and reorganize our management paradigm, after several near-disasterous FarmVille incidents leave burned crops, violent attacks from neighboring farms and a long trail of dead baby animals.
December 10, 2009: VideoHelper suffers a minor setback after IT manager Zara Fleigelmann dies after wearing a zebra-striped bra with leopard skin panties. Apparently, Zebras and Leopards are natural enemies.
December 20, 2009: According to extensive research, “Which Sex In The City Character Are You?” results in our company being rated as a "Miranda." Fellow library OmniMusic is a "Samantha." Dammit.
December 28, 2009: We receive Facebook “drinks” from a client. Unfortunately, as a company filled with recovering alcoholics, the resulting two-week bender causes our server to go down.
January 4, 2010: VH starts the Facebook group “Who can get 1 million friends first: VH or this urinal cake?” The urinal cake wins and eventually secures a bid to be the sole supplier of music for CBS On-Air Promos.
March 20: 2010: What the hell does this mean: “5peak 2 mE a8out the CoN7rAct before U get pwned?” The Disney Legal department really should relax a bit.
March 27, 2010: VH gets cyberbullied by other libraries and spends its prom at home, watching rented movies, eating ice cream and crying. Again.
To recover, we’ve decided to release
DISC 39: ROCKTOPUS vs TRICERAPOPS – a huge collection of wildly varied Pop/Rock! This disc includes light, heavy, Punky, celebratory, angsty, dramatic, bouncy, Folksy, angry and/or gelatinous cuts that will make your sports/news/entertainment spots really get some attention, much like a lust-filled porcupine or chainsaw-wielding infant!
Note: This is our largest release EVER! With more than 1,740 cuts -- and that is not a misprint -- 1,740 cuts that -- Oh hold it, that was a misprint. Crap. Still our largest collection at 174 cuts, you'll find every genre we could think of: Swing, Punk, Rock, aggressive Hard Rock, R&B, Techno Country, Dance, Funk, Gothic Killing Spree, Hip Hop and even a cut recorded almost entirely on an iPhone! You'll also find genres we couldn't think of, including "Inexplicable Cut" and "[I'm Not Sure What This Is]".
